The art centre’s run by pricks
The real ale pubs are full of dicks
The town hall staff are uber rude
The cab drivers are f**king crude
The chintzy stores are full of crap
The pastry shop is full of pap
All the roads are full of holes
The garden centre's full of hoes
The Norman Church is always closed
The library's only got two books
The council chamber's full of crooks
The music scene is f**king dead
The f**king kids are all inbred
The farmer’s market’s f**king rank
The cafe bars are f**king w*nk
The pot-holed car parks all are locked
The dogging scene is all half-cocked
The tourist board is run by snobs
The rugby club is full of yobs
The sports complex is full of slobs
The migrant workers came for jobs
Took one look and f**ked right off
To a kinder fascist state regime
‘Cause they too know, when they've seen
A mean 'n' nasty town.Stephen Evans (c) 2014
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